God Pleaser or People Pleaser?

We often struggle with receiving affirmation from others rather than receiving that love from our Heavenly Father. Have you wrestled with being a "People Pleaser"? Or are you fully surrendered to honoring God and receiving his love daily.

@thepuzzleisreal

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we will be discussing faith, family, and Relationships hosted by Matt and Melissa Pisani . This is The Puzzle is Real podcast when you know, you know.

Speaker 2: 0:15

All right , welcome back. We're here for another awesome conversation. And I just wanna let you know that Baby Mags is in the building. <laugh> baby Mags is in the building and she is producing this episode. She's directing and we love her. She's our youngest. So if you hear her in the background, just say, oh , that's cute. 'cause it won't be forever that she'll wanna sit with us. Yeah. While we do these. And again, if you're just listening for the first time, this is a podcast about family and faith and relationships. Our testimony. We were set up on a blind date looking for love in all the wrong places, found Jesus fell in love with him. And then all of a sudden our hairdresser, CJC, my man, Carlton John Claude, set us up and the rest is history.

Speaker 3: 1:04

Yes. I always share that story 'cause it's such an encouragement to, I mean, for me to be reminded of it and to know where we were prior. It's a crazy story. It's a crazy story. We met, got engaged in four weeks, married within five or six months. So when, you know, you know, that's kind of our podcast, right? Called The Puzzle is Real. Because when you, when the puzzle comes together, everything becomes this beautiful reality. And that's kind of where we're at. And also the juggle is real. 'cause we got three kids and many different hats that we wear and all of that. But it's beautiful and we are excited to just share about different experiences to just uplift and encourage the body of Christ and even just the non-believers just to hear a different perspective maybe.

Speaker 2: 1:45

Yeah. So if you're an atheist or agnostic or you're just not in the , uh, season of fully surrendering your life to God, you're welcome to listen and we love you and we want you to hopefully be encouraged through this. So , um, it's, it's been on my heart lately. You talk about love and relationships and maybe even finding the one. And we know who the true one is. The , the the true love that we have for God and for for Jesus Christ. The , um, the area of affirmation and, and being affirmed has been really on my heart. I do not like social media and I don't like posting, which is interesting 'cause I love being out and doing , um, things with people. I like being social. I like doing art and creating, but I don't really like social media. And I think it's because I , I believe it's almost all fake. But in that , um, I understand that it's an important tool and I try to sometimes put out posts. So recently I was working on this post, I'm gonna let you guys know what it is it , it'll be out by the time you hear this podcast. But the post was basically me reminding myself that God's approval is the only one that matters. 'cause a lot of times, even with a post, it could take you three to five attempts. And now I'm speaking to the 30 and over club . If you are trying to create this post, make sure that it's spelled correctly. Making sure that the video, the picture in there , the time that goes in to creating a post that's purposeful takes time sometimes. Yeah. And there's some people that are just good at it and they can just kill it. And , um, there's others that use AI to do it. Good for you. But in all of this, it's a reminder of what really matters. When we're doing things like that, we're not looking for the affirmation of man or for one another. And sometimes we'll fall into that and not realize it. And some of us are looking for it. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . But we're not called to do that. We're called to only, and most importantly, receive our affirmation from the father, from our father in heaven. And it's important that when we get caught looking for the affirmation of others, that we redirect our focus to God. Because you'll be let down every time. It could be a new friendship, a new relationship. It could be a dating situation where you look for your cup to be filled by that person, family, and eventually mm-hmm <affirmative> . Yeah. They're gonna let you down. And then you're gonna have this really tough season of beating yourself up and allowing the devil who I like to call the enemy to come in and have a field day with you. So for those of you that e today , you are loved, you are seen, you're worthy. And you have someone that loves you more than anyone else. And that's Jesus Christ. So with that to be said, I just wanted to really dive in today about what it means to walk in affirmation. And if you are feeling total freedom of any of this, where you're like, ah , I don't have a problem with that. I feel the love of the father every day. Be the one that affirms those around you that need that affirmation. Be the one that reaches out and says, Hey, like, you look amazing today. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . And that's like guy to guy in , um, you know, or girl to girl, you know , or to your spouse, but hey, like, you look awesome, or, I love those sneakers. Or, Hey, like, you killed it last week when I saw you, you know, leading worship, if you're in the music scene or you know, you're, you're doing awesome at your job. I think that words of affirmation can really break down the lies that the enemy has told us. And the lies that we still go into agreement with, with our own insecurities. And insecurities usually come from the root of something. My insecurities, one of them that I share publicly, and I've done this for over a decade, is I'll share about my insecurity. When I was a kid and I was chubby mm-hmm <affirmative> . And I was, I felt overweight, I felt fat. And I remember kids calling me Fat Matt as a kid, and it sounds funny, they're like , but I had a season where I was being verbally abused, physically abused, which led to a lot of my anger and addiction and crazy lifestyle, which some of you have heard testimony of that God got me out of. But the cool thing is that I'm able to share with people that that depiction of who people said I was and who they said I was gonna be, was broken through the blood of Jesus. And a lot of times, we'll go back to like moments where someone can make you still feel like your little 7-year-old self. You know? And you'd be like, oh man, someone says something the wrong way or makes a comment that strikes a chord or hits something a wound that you haven't dealt with. And, and you need to give it to God. So I hope that this episode just affirms you to know that God hears you, hears your insecurities. And it's okay to sometimes feel insecure, but don't let it master you. And allow for moments of, say, even posting a social post to be a bridge to somebody. And , and also don't allow that outcome to define who you are. Whether it's a million views, one view, two likes. 'cause every time you do put something out that is glorifying God and magnifying his name, it's gonna be used. Someone's gonna be ministered by it. So what are the things that are stopping you from receiving his love? And , and what are the things that you might see as , um, a road blocker? And I don't know if most wants to add anything to this that I'm already kind of going deep on, but it's just important that we recognize that and we also constantly renew our mind to receive his love.

Speaker 3: 6:56

Yeah. And I think I know a lot of people in my life who are people pleasers and that it's exhausting for them because they're constantly trying to uphold this idea that they're gonna fill someone else's bucket. Mm-hmm <affirmative> . And if they don't do it, that they're gonna disappoint them. And I feel like once you are free from that, there's so much just breathing room and freedom that you're, we wanna be God pleasers and not people pleasers. And it's okay to say no because if you're saying yes to everything, you are gonna be flooded. You're gonna be exhausted. Oh yeah . And we wanna be a river and not a flood. So I think it's so important that if we say no to something, we can say yes to something else. And I think we've shared that in a previous episode. Sorry, Magnolia is playing a game. Um, but yeah , we really want to honor God with our time and to do the things that are pleasing to him. Because even like Matt was talking about social media, and that's fine and I don't like it either, but I have to do it because it's, I don't have to do it. But it's like, you wanna, I use it to encourage other people to talk about motherhood or relationships. I don't do it to be like, Hey, look at me. 'cause you know, everyone makes makes it seem like their life is perfect, mommy . And we know that the life is not perfect. So don't get caught up on what you're seeing on social media, in the news, on tv, because it's not reality. You know, when you're actually spending time with those people where their lives look perfect, you can see all the flaws and you're like, wow, that is so contradictory to what they're putting out there. And that's not to say that that's everyone's situation, but I think that's just , it's a facade because it's anyone behind a computer or phone can make anything look the way that they want. I mean, look at the filters that are on Instagram and AI and all these things. It's like half these people don't even look that way. So our point here is to, we want to honor God and to please God with all that we do. And that we don't have to be anything but ourselves for him. We can come to him ugly, chaotic, uncertain, because we can give him all of these burdens and all of these , um, insecurities and all of our hopes and dreams and prayers. We just bring them to him and he is going to answer that. It's not a person or you know, someone that you have a high regard to. It's God ultimately. So I think that we have to get out of our own way sometimes because we're always looking for the affirmation of man or a title or a status or whatever that may look like. But ultimately we are all the same. We are all created in the image of God, and he has a special calling and plan for our life. But we have to sit under his authority to say, what do you want me to do with my life? And how am I glorifying you and not glorifying myself? Because we don't wanna constantly put ourself first because that's just being self-centered. We want to say, Hey, how do you wanna use me with my gifts and talents that you've given me to glorify you and to bring others to know you? That's the important part.

Speaker 2: 10:02

Yeah. There's a , um, there's always a voice that's gonna come alongside to , uh, make you feel inadequate or make you feel like you're not wanted. And it can be silly, but it's sometimes that constant voice that will lead to you separating from maybe your community and , and your friends and and family. So just allow yourself each day to surrender your will for God's will. Allow yourself each day to, to sit with him or walk with him or ride your bike and , and spend some time to just be in his presence. And , and that can be a great way to receive his love and his affirmation so that as the day goes on and you know, you don't get the job promotion or you don't get the grade you wanted in school, or you don't get that , um, that big opportunity that you were hoping for, you're able to , to deal with it through a spiritual lens and not a a an earthly lens where now you're saying, all right , like, like God has me and, and will always have me. And I'm, I'm sitting in his lap right now allowing him to affirm and love me 'cause he's my dad. And, and that's just a reminder to each listener that might be going through something today in the area of feeling not worthy or maybe not seen. So we love you guys and we hope that this is just another great nugget for you to just put in the arsenal when the day is not as , um, positive or joyful. Right. There are days where we're not , we we're not content. Right. And , um, real talk, there are days where I will wrestle with contentment and I have no excuse to not be content. But that's the enemy's way to try to allow us to be distracted from what God wants us to do today. So today's the day to reject distraction in Jesus' name. So Lord, we just pray that you would reject any distractions in our minds and in our hearts right now that aren't a view . Allow us to do all that you've called us to do today. In your mighty name, we pray in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.

Speaker 3: 12:00

Amen. All right . Well thank you guys for listening. We ask that you would share this to those who may need this encouraging word today and to give us a review on , um, apple or wherever you listen. That would be helpful. That way more people can hear the message that God has put on our heart to share with you all. So we appreciate your time and we will see you soon later. Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the Puzzle is Real podcast. Please subscribe today and share with a friend . See you soon .