The Puzzle Is Real

Parenting Advice: Thanks, But No Thanks

• Matt & Melissa Pisani • Season 1 • Episode 47

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 Join Matt and Melissa as they discuss doing what's best for you and your family regardless of the advice you receive from the peanut gallery. 


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www.mattandmelissapisani.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we will be discussing faith, family, and Relationships hosted by Matt and Melissa Pisani . This is The Puzzle is Real podcast when you know, you know,

Speaker 2:

And we are,

Speaker 1:

Hey guys, welcome back. We are excited. You are tuning in to this next episode of Faith, family and Relationships. And tonight we are going to talk about family. Yes. And parenting more specifically.

Speaker 2:

Parenting advice given by many, especially those from the peanut gallery, there's always someone that wants to give you great advice how they did it, whether they're a mother or a father. And it's not to be sarcastic or condescending, we're just gonna have a fun conversation about things that we're glad we didn't do. And we always take in advice. You always wanna get counsel from people that have been there before, but it's not always the same for you and your children. Right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly. I was just gonna say that it's more about everyone's experience is totally different. Everyone's nurturing levels are different. There's certain people that can put down their baby, have them cry for 20 minutes and walk away and be fine. And there's people like me who if I hear them make a little peep, I'm like, oh, let me get the baby. I mean, but that's just who I am. So yeah, we just kind of wanna cover some parenting advice that we're happy we didn't take <laugh>.

Speaker 2:

Yep .

Speaker 1:

And first one is, many people in my life have told me, when you become a mom, you know when your baby cries, don't pick them up. And I just did not listen to it because when I became a mom, my mama heart just exploded every time that they were crying. 'cause I knew that , that they needed nurturing, they needed love, they needed to eat, they needed their diaper changed , like something was going on that I knew I needed to take care of. So it's not that I was spoiling them, it's just that I love them and I want them to be happy and I don't want them to cry. So I did. And I do pick them up <laugh> every time they cry.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. I think as a, as a dad and a father, it's different and we don't have as deep of the connection obviously. 'cause we do not give birth to the children. So I think there were times where you'd be like over the top in a good way where I'd be like, ah , they'll be okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I think

Speaker 2:

<laugh> and it wasn't to be like insensitive, but you just ,

Speaker 1:

He would let them cry it out a little bit. And meanwhile I'm like dying on the inside. Like I cannot listen to this crying. I have to pick them up.

Speaker 2:

Which is really awesome that that's your heart. 'cause not everyone has that innately in them. So that's great. 'cause it's turned into a really amazing start for our kids as they're growing and knowing what it really means to be like nurtured and loved and just , um, unconditional, you know, care and just , uh, a beautiful just way for them to realize that you know, it's um, it's okay for them to need you and the , you don't have to do tough love in those types of situations.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Especially when they're a baby. Because if all of you guys who are out there who have kids, you know how short that baby phase truly is. I mean the newborn phase is like the first eight weeks. That's it. And then they turn into more mobile, more expressive, more aware. So it's like, it's this window you, when you're in it, you feel like you're in there forever and you're like, oh my gosh, when am I gonna get out of this fog? Because as you moms know, you're in this like mommy fog for quite some time because you're getting no sleep. And if you're nursing, like you're exhausted because you're doing that around the clock and no one can really help with the feedings. So we've all been there, but it really is now that we have three children, we look at Mercy who's gonna be six in a few months and we're like, oh my goodness. It goes so fast. And I know so many people have told us, told you guys, I'm sure you know, don't blink your eyes 'cause it goes quick and you don't realize that it does. Especially when you're in the thick of it. You are like, oh my goodness, is this ever gonna get easier? And then it does. And then it's over. So it's like you have to enjoy each and every moment. And I think that's the reason also that I hold the baby so much because I know that they're only gonna be a baby for so long and they're not gonna be want , you know , I'm not gonna want to be held, you know, as they get older.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's good. And you know, I advice is different than like statements that are true. And that's a true statement that used to always make me be like, oh yeah, yeah. When people would be like, oh, they grew up so fast. Right. You just thought it was like a generic thing that mm-hmm. <affirmative> parents that have parented before. You just say, but then you get in it and you're like, wow, this does go pretty quick. 'cause you're multitasking with family and work and just responsibilities and Yep . And it's, yeah. So that's , uh, that's a true statement for those that are praying about having kids that listen to us and listen to these episodes. And it's a true statement obviously as you're walking through it and watching them grow before your eyes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And another one that people always said, and even in the hospital <laugh> , after you have your baby, they're like, you cannot fall asleep with the baby. Don't co-sleep. It's so dangerous, blah, blah , blah. But honestly,

Speaker 2:

The co-sleeping, I feel like throughout the years we've been told, you gotta be careful co-sleeping. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I mean it can be and yes , dangerous if, you know, you rolled on the baby,

Speaker 2:

You hear horror stories, you

Speaker 1:

Hear horror stories. But I think for me at least,

Speaker 2:

And we always had a barrier with the pillows,

Speaker 1:

Always had a barrier. And I always had them like either on top of me where I'm like laying on my back and they're just sleeping on me or just right next to me. And then I just put pillows all around us. But honestly, that was the only way that I could sleep also. 'cause every time I heard the baby have like any sort of peep, I'm like, oh, they're awake. I have to get them. So it just, it relaxed me. It relaxed them and that was the way that I was able to sleep with them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah . And I've always just done the flip, like instead of like facing towards you guys, I'll flip and get to this edge of the bed. So I'm like, I will not roll over on this child. I will

Speaker 1:

Not. Yeah . And we always have pillows between us too , so ,

Speaker 2:

You know, extra safety, extra precaution. Yes .

Speaker 1:

Safety precautions for sure.

Speaker 2:

I'd rather roll out of the bed and land on the floor. So yeah, no , I think we've been have , you know, just a lot of favor with that, that we're able to do it and before you know it, they're independent and in their own little cozy land.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And another piece of advice that people have said to me, and I don't know if they've said this to you too, Matt, was, you know, travel, do all the things before you have the kids and Yep . I just find now being a parent that I wanna travel with them because you're

Speaker 2:

Seeing absolutely the

Speaker 1:

World through their eyes now. And it just, it's so much fun. I just feel like it's, it's so much more fun and it brings life to whatever you're doing because they're just so excited to be doing it with you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. And there's like a couple of examples I could give everyone. You know, last year I had a , uh, a conference I had to go to up in Philadelphia and I brought the family with me and mm-hmm . <affirmative> , I had a great time knowing that they were there in between the things I had to get done. And Melissa got to have some fun going through , uh, the midtown area of Philly and mm-hmm . <affirmative> just , um, that incorporated into the ministry that we've been called into different things that we do. Uh , we were just on a trip where we brought the kids with us to Atlanta mm-hmm . <affirmative> . And we have some fun stuff coming with that. For those of you that don't follow clean slate living on social media. We got a new series coming out with Jake, the snake Roberts from the old w w f days. And you know, the kids knew all about it. They were literally informed understanding why we were going to Atlanta mm-hmm . <affirmative> to go meet Jake and to film him and his daughter. And even though they weren't on set with us, they were part of that whole experience just knowing that they were included to , um, the highest degree. And I think that's really important. And even the trips, the vacations, like Melissa said, so fun doing life with them and seeing the world through their eyes too. Yes.

Speaker 1:

It's really, until you experience it, I don't think you truly understand and just how, like Matt and I'll joke around sometimes, we're like, man, we had so much free time before we had kids. Like, what were we doing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah . How much time were we wasting just like binge watching movies and ordering late night dominoes? Yeah , no , because

Speaker 1:

Now it's like we don't have as much time and I'm not complaining, it's just our days are much more full. Right . Because now we have three kids, you know, we have a nonprofit , we have a lot of different things that we're , um, a part of and that we are definitely more of the entrepreneur type minded people, so we're always working on something. But yeah, now with obviously they're our number one priority is our kids. And yeah, so we just, we have some funny stories we wanted to share with you guys and also just parenting advice that sometimes we don't need to take because every experience is different and every child is different and you might think you're gonna be one way before you have kids and then you have kids and you're completely different. So a verse that we would want to leave you guys with is Proverbs 22 6. And that is train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Speaker 2:

And that's advice that we will take all day long is just knowing that we're raising up disciples and we're raising our children to having intimate relationship, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, following God's word, living for him, doing his will. And that's, that's the great reward and that's the best advice we could give anyone that's listening today mm-hmm. <affirmative> , don't ever be ashamed to raise your kids in that, that way of knowing that it's more than a religion, it's relationship with Jesus and that the fruit that falls from that man, it's endless, it's eternal.

Speaker 1:

Amen. Preach so, and just remember, be flexible and just go with the flow because parenting is an awesome rollercoaster and it's the best thing that you could do is to get married and have children. That is the best advice I can give you guys. We will see you next time. Thanks for listening later. Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the Puzzle Is Real podcast. Please subscribe today and share with the friend. See you soon.