The Puzzle Is Real

Marital Bliss

• Matt & Melissa Pisani • Season 1 • Episode 45

Share episode

 Engaged in 4 weeks of knowing one another, married within 6 months?!
Join Matt & Melissa  as they reflect on the wildest decision they ever made!


@puzzleisreal





www.mattandmelissapisani.com

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Puzzle is Real podcast where we will be discussing faith, family, and Relationships hosted by Matt and Melissa Pisani . This is The Puzzle is Real podcast when you know, you know.

Speaker 2:

All right . Hey, welcome back.

Speaker 1:

Hey guys, how you doing?

Speaker 2:

This is a super juicy episode, everyone. You're just gonna love it. It's tremendous. <laugh> . It's about our anniversary.

Speaker 1:

Yes. Dun , dun , dun . For those of you that were haters that didn't believe that it was gonna work,

Speaker 2:

Thought it was what ? They're getting married already.

Speaker 1:

I thought it was too quick.

Speaker 2:

They don't even know each other.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah. The peanut gallery was loud and loud and very clear.

Speaker 2:

Um , but , uh, Matt , can I, can I, Hey man, I just wanna talk to you about, I know like you've been praying about this and like, hey, like are you sure that this isn't, like this isn't the one and this isn't too soon? Or,

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So just to give a quick synopsis of what we're talking about. We met on a blind date, got engaged within four weeks and then we were married six months after knowing each other. So yeah, super fast. Definitely crazy. When we look back, we're like, what? How did we like just meet and then plan a wedding and get married in six months? That is insanity. Like now that I'm on the other side of it, it's literally insanity.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's wild. That would never do that again. <laugh>.

Speaker 1:

But what God wants to join together, no man can separate. So

Speaker 2:

Preach.

Speaker 1:

We are excited to share. Um, just some cool experiences we've had over the last eight years and just encouragement to the newlyweds, the people who are maybe married for under five years and just to let you know that it gets better. Marriage is like a fine wine. It just gets better even though we don't drink. But you know what I'm the expression, I just was trying to get that out. It just gets better. Right ?

Speaker 2:

Or like an old cheese that grows mold <laugh>.

Speaker 1:

No, that's disgusting. <laugh> . So number one, humor. Obviously we still laugh at each other. Matt was just telling me before we started recording that I just break out in like spontaneous dance moves and I think I'm looking really cool, but I guess I don't look that cool, but I'm just trying to be silly. I'm just trying to make my kids laugh 90% of the time. So you wanna be yourself. That's the bigger message Yeah. Is be yourself, you're married. Um, have fun

Speaker 2:

Dance, like no one's watching

Speaker 1:

Dance. Like no one's watching. And encourage each other. Laugh at each other. Laugh with each other.

Speaker 2:

Pick your nose while talking to each other.

Speaker 1:

Um, yeah, it's , it's all good. That happens sometimes

Speaker 2:

Just you get comfortable <laugh> . So. All right . We'll do like a little interview style here cuz I know that everyone's really eager to know. So how long have you been married?

Speaker 1:

Am I talking to you or is this, are you pretending to be someone else?

Speaker 2:

I'm just asking you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, <laugh>. <laugh> . I was like, are we roleplaying right now? Like what's going on? We have been married eight, almost eight years,

Speaker 2:

Almost eight years.

Speaker 1:

A few days shy.

Speaker 2:

We're about to celebrate eight years of covenant.

Speaker 1:

Eight years baby. Ooh . Eight years is the , uh, year of bronze, I believe. Okay. How

Speaker 2:

Do you,

Speaker 1:

Sorry.

Speaker 2:

How do you think your life has changed for the better since like year one to getting to the eight year mark? Cuz that's a lot's happened in between. We were talking about that recently. Oh man. But like, without like going too far down a rabbit hole, like what do you think? Like what are some things where it's like, wow, like, like year one it's like, yeah, we're married, everything's new, fun. We finally get to like, you know, do life together and, and that's cool. But now we're going onto eight years and obviously there's been a build. So like what do you like? Give us a little bit of like one to eight.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So year one is kind of like being in a go-kart on in Unpaved Road where it's like, you're like whoa, this is a lot of fun. This is crazy. This is wild. Like it's exciting. Everything's new, every bump and like everything is I guess , um, accentuated in a lot of ways. Mm-hmm . <affirmative> . Cause it's all new and you're still trying to figure each other out. I mean, there's some of you that have, that are out there that have dated for a long period before you got married. Yeah . So maybe you knew a lot more about your spouse prior to getting married where I feel like Matt and I, we didn't know as much about each other and I'm just thankful that we didn't rush into having kids Right. Right away because we wouldn't have had those couple years where it was just us. Yeah . Um , but now leading up to eight years, I feel like now we're like settled in, we're in now like a Jeep, maybe like a Wagoner driving on a very smooth paved road where it's like, okay, we kind of know where we're going. We know the direction we're heading and there's nothing that's gonna catch us off guard cuz we're more unified now than ever. Yeah. And I think we understand each other more. I think we can read each other's body language. We kind of know the subtext without having to say certain things. And I think as you mature and you grow in your marriage , um, I , it gets easier. And that's, I mean, Matt and I are an anomaly in some ways cuz I feel like we are very in tune with each other. Where I know there's a lot of marriages where you're not, maybe your spouse doesn't speak up as much or share their heart as much or more introverted. So I am very thankful that God has joined us together and literally have knit our stories together where we each other finish each other's sentences all the time.

Speaker 2:

It's kinda ridiculous. I think alluding to is like communication got better from year one to eight you think?

Speaker 1:

I don't know if it's just communication. I think it's more like we understand the full picture now. It's not, well what did you mean by that tone? Or like, we kind of, we just know each other better. You know what I'm trying to say? So I feel like when things are coming at us, we know how to deal with it and how Yeah. And communi , yeah. I guess everything's gotten better. So now you, what would you say?

Speaker 2:

What's the question? The

Speaker 1:

Question is how would you compare our first year of marriage to now our eighth year of marriage?

Speaker 2:

I think yeah. Year one is definitely not just the honeymoon, but it's like awesome . We have all this free time to just have fun together and explore and, and like , um, we didn't have kids.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

And I think that's really important, like to have that time and not everyone gets that time, but even mm-hmm. <affirmative> , even if uh , you don't get that time for whatever reason, God still uses it and gives you, you know, I think a blessed start , uh, progression. I think it's only gotten better cuz you grow deeper within your walk with God and then mm-hmm . <affirmative> you grow deeper together and your one flesh and you just find that rhythm and yeah . I mean, very unique stuff right. That God can do within a one to eight year time period.

Speaker 1:

So what's the eight ? Like? Where are you at now?

Speaker 2:

I think we're somewhere around a , um, a house that's sitting on a tranquil island with water that crashes and , um, Kanye West playing like from the Jesus' King album. Nice. Like cool beats, you know, just like, and , and we're just vibing. Like we're , we're in our rhythm and we are , uh, we're doing what God's calling us to do as parents and as husband and wife. And um, yeah. And I think also like the cues, like Melissa said, like everyone I think perceives that well Matt must always , always be like talkative and like energetic and like, you know, like I think we can, you know , um, expect certain things like oh wow. Like this is probably how like they operate. There are days where Melissa knows that I'm shot, I'm mushy as far as like I don't feel like talking a lot or like , I'm like, she's like, you all right ? I'm like, I'm just so tired. And like sometimes I think we even have like honored each other in like the down moments, which when Yeah . Year one you don't realize that there's that cuz you're just, like Melissa said, you're on the, what was it? The go-kart

Speaker 1:

<laugh> . Yeah . I don't know why that just came. Yeah . Where you're like, so , so now, now this is fun, this is

Speaker 2:

Exciting now that in the wagoner you can kind of recline in that passenger seat and like take a nap. Yeah . And the other person's like, cool with that because like, you have like forever together. Right. So I think that yeah, there's just been this maturity in the relationship and that's for everyone. Like you can keep maturing and it , and it comes back to also intimacy with the father, you know, and we sit with the father and, and we rest in him. Now we're able to pour into our family, into our spouse in a much deeper way so that um, when we are an empty, the flesh is , um, you know, not gonna come in. And sabotage doesn't mean that we haven't had, you know, arsenal attacks of , uh, issues at times where we're like, oh man, like we just blew it and, you know, had to forgive and continue to give and move forward. And I think that's really important too. So yeah, a lot of learning has happened and we continue to learn and we have not arrived and we're always looking to learn from the older generation, you know, to see how can we keep, you know, being better husbands and wives for not just each other, but now for our kids watching us do it. Like yeah. That they would see that we're the real deal inside the house, just like when we're out and about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And I think also just real life has happened in these eight years. I was just telling Matt the other day, we were just reflecting on what's happened over the last eight years and so much. I mean, not only have we moved to another state now and we've had our third child, but there's also been, you know, sickness and death and different real life things that we've had to clinging to each other. And number one, cling to the Lord. And I think that has just grown us in a lot of ways where, when my dad got sick, if you guys haven't listened to that episode of , um, walking in the Miracle, that's a really good one, just of my dad's story. And um, you know, we flew out to Las Vegas, he was diagnosed with stage four brain cancer and basically we had to take care of him. You'll have to go back and listen to the story, but I saw Matt in a light where he sacrificially , um, just selflessly took care of my dad as, as if he was his own dad. And I think that just grew a deeper , um, just love for him. Just seeing him take care of someone that's not his blood. And you know, you just see different things in the , in your spouse when you are hit with , um, tragedy and turmoil and you see true colors come out and sometimes they're amazing and other times obviously they're not. But in our case, I've just seen Matt as just this true servant who loves the Lord, loves people and just serves people in a beautiful way.

Speaker 2:

Well, I still make a lot of mistakes, but hey,

Speaker 1:

Well yes, but we all do . I'm thankful to all , to

Speaker 2:

Uh , to keep having his grace. But yeah, we, we want to encourage people that are newly married, don't give up, don't stop trying to , um, understand each other's , um, point of views, perspectives, opinions, and even each other's experience. I've learned a ton from Melissa on a lot of things. She's probably learned a little bit from me and like hopefully , um,

Speaker 1:

Yeah, of

Speaker 2:

Course. <laugh> and that was a joke, <laugh> and we're just having fun sharpening one another. I think that's the other part of it is like keep challenging each other. I think we keep trying to level up for things that we feel God wants us to do. And it's not about like keeping up with the Joneses as much as it's keeping up with the pace that God wants you to have. And sometimes that pace is really slow. I mean, it's not always the go-kart. It's not always the wagoneers. No. Sometimes it's the golf cart. So yeah . Um, that's important to just , um, have, have that understanding that it's okay to , um, to slow down once in a while, while in that rhythm that you find in your marriage and smell the roses and enjoy everything that God has blessed you with. We were watching some videos recently of us in Guyana when we celebrated our one year anniversary mm-hmm . <affirmative> on a mission trip. Yep . And I , and I don't even know if it , we really could call a mission trip. It was really a fall out crusade mm-hmm . <affirmative> tour that we did. Um, cause every day's a mission in our life. Yeah . But then we looked at other moments that we've had that are just really powerful, like being on the jumbotron in Times Square with our daughter Mercy and our dear friends celebrating clean slate. Mm-hmm . <affirmative> with , uh, the Nasdaq, I mean, God just giving us a lot of favor to do some fun stuff. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

<affirmative> and one cool, or one, one piece of advice I think my grandma gave to me a while back before I got married, this was years ago of my twenties. I I asked her with her and my poppy , I was like, if you could give me one piece of advice about marriage, what would you say? And she would say , um, if it's not gonna matter in the morning, don't argue about it. So if he leaves his socks on the floor and it bothers you and you can't stand it, don't bring it up because it's not gonna matter in the morning. And so that was just something that stuck with me. So it's like we can't sweat the small stuff and you have to look at the big picture and we have to see each other as Christ sees us. And um, we have to love each other in that way as well. So I think it's exciting. Marriage is beautiful. It's not restricting. It's amazing. It's, you know, the whole reason we started this podcast because we have found that missing puzzle piece because God wants to join the husband and wife together as the church. Um, so yeah, we hope that just encourages you guys. And you know, and marriage is fun. I can't wait to see what's gonna be after like the next eight years what God's gonna do. Cause he's done a lot.

Speaker 2:

If you're single and this doesn't pertain to you yet, well guess what? Your one to eight year assessment is coming soon. Praying it in.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah. Have a good one guys. We'll see you soon later. Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the Puzzle is Real podcast. Please subscribe today and share with a friend. See you soon.