The Puzzle Is Real

Are You A "Details"Person?

• Matt & Melissa Pisani • Season 1 • Episode 34

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Join Matt and Melissa Pisani on this "Relationship" episode where they will discuss being a "Details Person". 

www.mattandmelissapisani.com

@puzzleisreal
@missjean21
@mateopisani

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the puzzle real podcast, where we will be discussing faith, family, and relationships hosted by Matt and Melissa Pisani. This is the puzzle real podcast. When you know, you know,

Speaker 2:

Hello, everybody, welcome back to the puzzle is real. And for those of you who have listened in the past, you know, we talk all about faith, family, and relationships. So we hope that these messages bless you, encourage you, give you some joy laughter and even, um, some insight on what you're going through.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So,

Speaker 2:

Um, do you wanna give us a recap, Matthew

Speaker 3:

Awkward, awkward moment. Matthew here, I'm being awkward. If you could see the video of this, but there is no video. I didn't communicate something recently to my wife, to my beautiful wife. Oh, what? Well, I got up early in the morning, had a beautiful time of just meditation and prayer and decided to go on my bicycle for a bike ride in the local area. Unfortunately, while riding my bicycle, I took my eyes off of the bike path. I saw that there was a jumbotron at the local elementary school, which was lovely. And as I glanced over, um, side note, our kids do not go to this elementary school. I have no business.<laugh> needing to know the information on this German

Speaker 2:

Truck. Like what are you so interested? That's on the billboard<laugh>

Speaker 3:

So I look over and just as I look over, bam, I fall off my bike. I hit The railroad tie divider in the middle of the bike path and fly off my bike. And now I'm filled with blood, uh, bodies in shock. And I don't know what to do. I decide to get up before anyone sees me cuz now pride hits in and go, oh man, someone just told me, fly off the bike. And I am trying to get onto my bike, but I realize that I can't bend my right arm. There's blood on my hands. My shirt's torn on my right elbow and I quickly fixed the handlebar, get on the bike. And this was after walking across the street, finding a place where no one could see me and all of a sudden ride my bike home to let Melissa know that I had fallen off my bike and hurt myself really bad.

Speaker 2:

<laugh> I'm not laughing. I'm like laughing now cuz he did not communicate that he had left in the morning and me and the kids were still sleeping. Cuz he was up much earlier than we woke up. And so I got up, I was like, starting my day, the kids were still sleeping. He's texting me. He's like I have to tell you something and I'm thinking it something like silly or whatever. And then he told me and I was like, what? You fell off your bike. So then I look at all of his wounds and I'm like, oh man. So I'm like, like, all right, let's just see, let's see how you feel. Let's go the day.

Speaker 3:

<laugh> yeah. So I just wanna like even give everyone a little bit more. This isn't something that I put onto social media just yet, but I literally drove myself to a barber hair appointment this the same day. Not knowing of my injuries yet. Just like, all right, I'm gonna go blood on my elbow. And a lot of pain. I drove with one arm cuz my right arm couldn't move that much. Finally we go to the local doctor and I found out I broke my right elbow and my left wrist. Yep. So things escalated quickly doing a lot better. Thank you for everyone that knew about this and have been praying for my, uh, recovery, cuz I feel the prayers<laugh> but it opens up today's episode just about details, about how important it is to pay attention, to details in one another's lives. And even just asking a, a rhetorical question, are you a details person?

Speaker 2:

Right? Some people wanna know every little detail. Like if you ask somebody how's your day, some people be like, oh it's good. And then other people are like, oh man, what a day I've had, you know, I got stuck in traffic. I spoke coffee on myself. You know, my, uh, associate at work was telling me about their weekend. You know, they'll go on and on and on. So it's important. I think for us to pay attention to different personalities that people have and different things that they're passionate about. And I think one thing that's super important. Um, and that is just a great trait is to be a good listener for those who do wanna share. Right. You know, obviously there's people who overshare and kind of consume your time where they kind of suck the life out of you. And you're like, oh my gosh, I hope I don't get stuck talking to this person. But you know what? That might be what they need. Maybe they don't have a person to talk to, to vent, to, to share certain things with. But yeah it's so it goes back to communication too is like, what kind of communicator are you? What kind of friend are you? Are you the listener? Are you the giver? Are you the taker? There's a lot that goes into relationships. And hence this is a relationship episode.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I feel like a lot of people that battle with narcissistic traits usually have an issue in this department. Right? Mm-hmm<affirmative> it really means that when you're a good listener, you not only build that trust with the person who's confiding and you are just sharing with you, but it builds up the relationship for just so much more. And, and that's really, really vital. I believe nowadays in a society where we're consumed with a lot of things on our phones, on our computers. Um, and if you have human connection with someone and you actually hear their heart, man, that could change their whole dynamic, you could change the direction of their, their life, the way that they're going, the way that they're living. Mm-hmm<affirmative>, we're seeing it culturally coming from the north and now living in the south where yeah, man, we talk to people like so pleasant that wanna really know what's going on in our lives on the day to day. And, and it's not with any ulterior motive. Like when we were in New York, it was like, yo like how's your day like, oh, this guy might be trying to what's he trying to do something or get one over on me. Like we were, we were always guarded. Right. All the new Yorkers out there. Know how that goes. But I believe when you step outside of the tri-state area, people are, are just open to be like, Hey, what's going on? Yeah. Nice, nice day. Beautiful weather.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. People are just more open to just communicating and to being genuine and to stopping and slowing down. I think that's what it comes down to too. It's not, yes, it's cultural. But New York is very fast paced and people are on the go. So they feel like they don't have the time to like listen to someone, Hey, how's your day. It's like, oh, I'm good. I'm good. And then they're off to the next thing where here it's a little bit slower paced and people take the time and want to get to know the details of your life. For example, when we first moved down here, I was in the grocery store and I was like, looking, you know, it's a new grocery store store, like looking around. And um, one of the gentlemen who worked there came up to me, he was like, Hey, ma'am, how's your day. He's like, can I help you find something? Like, are you from here? And just kept talking to me. And I wasn't used to that because in New York, it's not like that at all. And even like checking out the lady behind the counter is like, Hey, what do you have planned this weekend? And they genuinely want to know. And that makes you feel special that you're seeing that you matter. And I think, um, in any relationship you wanna know that your life matters to them. Yeah. That it's not just this topical thing that they actually genuinely wanna know who you are, what you're about. And they wanna listen to you.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And I think like there's a few practical applications to this for everyone that's listening. If you're a believer, if you're a follower of Jesus Christ, you're a Christian, you're walking in faith, you know, sitting with God every day and listening to him, sitting and, and just being with him will not only reveal details that he has for you, but I truly believe it opens up your heart. It, it sets the right posture for the day so that you can absorb the details of other people's lives. And I give you the example of, if I get up in the morning and I don't disconnect to sit with the Lord, to sit with the father and, and I just go right into like mercy and Alki land and, and absorbing all their details. And then I go into work mode and then I go into husband mode. I'm gonna be a lot quicker to be like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Come on quiet. Cause you know, there's this fleshly, uh, battle that we deal with in the spiritual realm that people don't see that you need to continually reposition your heart and your mind too saying, all right, God, like, what do you have for me today? So there's a, there's an abiding that comes in with being prepared to receive the life takers.<laugh> mm-hmm<affirmative> because you're gonna encounter them every day, whether you're ready for it or not. Um, relationally, the ones that are single, that are listening, you know, you want to have a successful courtship with someone, but you're wondering why every time you get to that point, at some point it fizzles out or it changes, you may want to redirect the details. Like, like what was I missing this last time? Why did this not work out? I think that there have been times where maybe we can in our own like get our way in our own flesh, say, oh, you know what? Well, I don't care about those details. You, you, you seem to fit the list. All right, boom. And now like you miss something mm-hmm<affirmative> during the process of building the trust in the relationship. And then for the married couples, we see that all the time that for us, it's like, man, well, we're like in unison and one accord and United is when we understand each other's communication and we get the details seems to be more falling short on my end than Melissa's cuz I think I have the tendency of oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's let's just speak to the next thing, but there are times where<laugh> missing the important

Speaker 2:

Details' are you listening to what I'm saying?<laugh>

Speaker 3:

And, and again, it's like, it's a self-reflection moment. So it's not calling anyone and be like, oh, like you guys, all, everyone that's listening. You ladies, you men, this is what's what you need to do. It's no, it's just a, a wake up call to reminder. I got a nice reminder. Not only from falling off my bike and breaking my wrist to my elbow on just slowing down a little bit, which is a whole nother episode. But I think also what God was revealing to me, some important details that he was trying to speak into my heart and I might have been missing those

Speaker 2:

Well. And I think not only physically did he slow you down? Right? Um, I think in relationships, if you want to have a flourishing relationship, you have to slow down. You have to sit across from one another, look each other in the eye and have conversations. You know, Matt and I, obviously we have two little kids, so it's hard for us to communicate and to talk. So<laugh>, there's so many times where I'm trying to share something with him and Malai is trying to grab at me and Mercy's trying to say something and he just loses focus. And he is like, I don't even know what you're saying right now. And I'm like, Ugh, because it's, you have to take the time to stop everything, shut everything down to actually really communicate without all the chaos and the noise. So I think that's just a reminder for us too, is like, we can't always talk about the deeper things when the kids are there because, uh, it's uh, not an easy thing to do.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I wanted to just even end with this story. I just thought of, and Melissa and I, um, before we met, I was doing different ministry, uh, events and, and learning. And I had went on a ministry, um, weekend or week with a friend of mine, Craig Mueller mm-hmm<affirmative> who leads long island youth for Christ and Craig and I were going up and we were gonna learn about this school assembly program that youth for Christ did. And I forget they paired us up and Craig and I were paired now I did not tell Craig that my birthday was gonna land while we were away. Cuz I didn't want it to be about me. And I just wanted to be on this trip with him and um, his team members to learn about this school assembly program. So we had paired up and we had to do this thing where you sit in a chair face to face, need knee mm-hmm<affirmative> and you have to hold each other's hands<laugh>. You have to look into each other's eyes and ask each other questions. And one of the questions was like, obviously introduce yourself. Then it was, you know, um, some interest and then it is, Hey, when's your birthday?<laugh> and I'm literally looking into Craig's eyes. I'm going my birthday's today, man.<laugh> and he's like, what? How come you didn't tell me today is your birthday? And I was like, I don't know. I just didn't want it to be like a, a focal point. He's like Matt, we have to celebrate your birthday.<laugh><laugh>

Speaker 2:

That's

Speaker 3:

Funny. So these, these moments where even like friends that you know that like you just, oh man. So communication details so important in and out of season, no matter where you're at, it really goes a long way.

Speaker 2:

It sure does. And um, you know, these are just little tidbit episodes here for you guys, but we hope that you take something away. If not anything. Um, just at least one thing that we have said tonight today, or whenever you're listening, we appreciate you guys. If you could like subscribe, follow us on Instagram at the puzzle is real. That would be awesome. And we appreciate the support. Look forward to seeing you guys soon.

Speaker 3:

See

Speaker 1:

You. Hey guys, thanks so much for listening to the puzzle is real podcast. Please subscribe today and share with the friend. See you soon.